How To Avoid A Negative Divorce With Children

Children tend to prefer stability and predictability over change. Stability and predictability feel safe. Divorce means change. On the other hand, a home with significant conflict also does not feel safe, and even without open conflict a home where love between the parents is missing sets our chi...

Holiday Planning For Divorcing Parents

In the course of a divorce involving children, the parents will need to develop a parenting plan that determines how they share time with the children, including various holidays and special occasions. For many families, the December holiday season is one of the most important family times of the y...

How To Navigate Divorce With Children

Children do make divorce harder. Because they are so easily hurt by the divorce, we have to work much harder to create an outcome that will not only be positive for ourselves, but positive for them as well - and sometimes those two goals are not well matched....

How Do I Get More Time with My Children?

We often hear from parents who are unhappy with their current parenting plan and want to have more time with their children. While the standard you have to meet for modifying a parenting plan is a tough one, there are several options to consider:...

“Compassionate Divorce” – My Thoughts on an Article by Roger B. Ley

I just read an article in our local Bar magazine, NWLawyer, by attorney Roger B. Ley on Compassionate Divorce. Basically, Roger's thesis is that kindness gets better results than vindictiveness. I agree wholeheartedly! Roger points out that when one side to a divorce makes room for thinking about...

Do Children Get a Say In Custody?

Under Washington law, children do not get to determine their custody arrangements. They may, however, get some chance to influence the court's decision. I have never seen a court allow a child to testify directly in court, as the court tries to avoid putting the children in the middle of the divorc...

Can I Get Sole Custody?

In Washington State we do not generally discuss parenting in terms of "custody". Normally in this state, the parents share custody of the children; i.e. both parents continue to be involved in raising the children. One parent might have the children more of the time (often referred to as the "prima...

What is Co-Parenting, and Why Would We Do It?

To me co-parenting means two parents who, though no longer together, are able to cooperate with each other in jointly parenting their children. Many separated parents seem to operate in different spheres - each is parenting during their time with the children entirely independent of the other. Ea...

Using a Child Specialist in Your Divorce

We often have a Child Specialist on the team in our Collaborative divorce cases. However, a Child Specialist can be very helpful in any divorce with children where the parents hope to be able to continue to work effectively together as co-parents after the divorce. A Child Specialist role is very...

Divorce Coaching

When couples want to have a more amicable divorce process, Divorce Coaching can help turn that hope into reality. We regularly use Divorce Coaches on Collaborative teams, but a Divorce Coach can also be very helpful to couples engaging in mediation or using a kitchen table approach. Divorce Coach...