Karen Bonnell on Holidays with Children

Karen Bonnell, a Bellevue based Collaborative divorce and co-parenting coach, was recently featured on King 5's New Day Northwest.  Karen is a co-author with Kristin Little of the book The Co-Parent Handbook.  In this video she talks about helping your children through the holidays after a parental...

Collaborative Marriage Planning

At the annual Forum of the IACP (International Academy of Collaborative Professionals) this past weekend, I ran into a concept I really liked - Collaborative Marriage Planning, although it might better be called Collaborative Relationship Planning as it is really intended to help couples plan for th...

Dr. Phil on Co-Parenting

A friend recently pointed out an article with some good advice for divorcing parents.  In "Dr. Phil: Dos and Don'ts For Co-Parenting With Your Ex", he makes a number of points about putting the children's best interests first.  Some of my favorites are: Don't disparage each other or allow the child...

Divorce and Children

I recently was alerted (thanks Daniel, Paul, and Rachel!) to an article on the Diefenbach, PLLC (New York divorce attorneys) website. The article is entitled "Divorce and Child Custody: It’s About the Child". It offers some good advice for divorcing parents. Some of the points I particularly liked w...

Can We Reach Our Own Agreements?

I am often asked whether a couple can reach their own agreements, or whether a Washington State court is going to refuse the accept those agreements and substitute its own decisions. As a general rule, a couple is able to make their own agreements as to things that are just between them. I have neve...

Tips for Reducing Conflict

Divorce has a reputation of being all about conflict - before, during, and after. It does not have to be like that, however. Here are a few tips for reducing conflict in your relationships: 1. Focus on what is important. Sometimes we just get in the habit of conflict - we'll argue with ANYTHING a c...

At What Age Can My Child Decide Where To Live?

We regularly get asked at what age can a child decide which parent she or he will live with. I was asked this again just the other day. Frequently, the person asking is under the impression that a child can make their own decision after they turn 12; I am not sure where this persistent rumor comes f...

Split – Divorce From the Child’s Perspective

Split Trailer - splitfilm.org from ellen bruno on Vimeo. On October 2013, the movie Split (www.splitfilm.org) was premiered at the annual IACP Forum. This documentary looks at divorce from the perspective of the children involved. As they point out on their website, in the US almost half of all chi...

Post-Divorce Parenting Mediation

A friend of ours recently pointed out an interesting article by Silvana D. Raso titled Using Mediation to Keep Your Cool During Divorce and Beyond. In the article, Ms. Raso makes the very good point that post-divorce parenting is often prone to disputes after their divorce is over, and that working...

Telling Your Kids

Kate Scharff has written an excellent article "Telling Your Kids About the Split: The Six Most Common (Well-Intended) Mistakes". In it she makes some great points. I often have clients who are trying to figure out the best way to tell their children they are getting divorced. I usually recommend...