Cooperative Litigation – by Theresa Lorella

By Theresa Lorella Attorney at Seattle Divorce Services Most people do not approach an impending separation from their spouse with the desire to “fight it out.” In fact, most people hope that they can avoid unnecessary pain to themselves, their spouse and their children whenever possible. While div...

Moving from Positions to Interests

At the recent annual conference of the Collaborative Professionals of Washington, I attended a workshop by Jacinta Gallant, a mediator and Collaborative lawyer from Prince Edward Island. One of the things she spoke about was the process of moving from positions to interests in negotiations. Positio...

Six Tips for Settling Your Divorce

Note that I did not say "winning" your divorce. As a general rule, no one wins a divorce case; instead the court tries to be as fair to both as possible and both sides get something. While there are those people who look forward to taking the other spouse to court, most people just want to get the c...

Forgiveness – Do It For You

By "forgiveness", I mean letting go of anger. When you carry anger toward another person, it generally hurts you more than it does them. If the person you are angry at is an ex, then your anger probably does not even mean that much to them. They are walking around, getting on with life, and all the...

A Problem to Solve, Not a War to Win

Too often divorce is seen as a war (remember "War of the Roses"?). When we see it as a war, then "winning" becomes the primary objective. But how often does one really win in a divorce? Certainly a hard fought divorce comes with many costs -- money, time, energy, etc. Both parties emerge emotionally...

Changing the Role of the Divorce Lawyer

Collaborative process is unique in that it fundamentally changes the role of the lawyer in divorce cases. Rather than being the mouthpiece for the client, the Collaborative lawyer supports the client in speaking for him or her self in direct discussions with their spouse or significant other....

Divorce Coaching

When couples want to have a more amicable divorce process, Divorce Coaching can help turn that hope into reality. We regularly use Divorce Coaches on Collaborative teams, but a Divorce Coach can also be very helpful to couples engaging in mediation or using a kitchen table approach. Divorce Coaches...

Explaining and Using Nonviolent Communication

The other day I mentioned the phrase "nonviolent communication" to my spouse. She asked what that meant - to her it sounded like something used to stop domestic violence between parties. In fact, "violent communication" does not refer to physical violence, but rather refers to something most of us a...

Divorce (or Not) – a book by Joseph Shaub

I recently had the honor of being asked to preview a new book on divorce by my good friend Joseph Shaub. Joe is both an attorney and a family therapist.  He has worked extensively as a divorce mediator, Collaborative divorce attorney, and Collaborative Divorce Coach. I have enjoyed working with him...

A Different Kind of Family Law Firm

Yesterday I had another unsolicited resume sent in by an attorney who was interested in Seattle Divorce Services specifically because he really liked the way we resolve family law issues.  In fact, several of our recent hires have been attorneys who wanted to leave their firms and join us primarily...