More and more often, people are asking about ways to get divorced without litigating (going to court).
There are several reasons why they are interested in such non-litigation approaches as Early Mediation and Collaborative Divorce:
They do not want a third party determining their futures.
Courts tend to apply cookie cutter solutions based on a fairly short exposure to the details of the case. When parties focus on using a process that keeps them in control of the outcome, they have the ability to tailor the solutions to their specific circumstances.
The solutions determined by the parties in non-litigation are generally win/win rather than win/lose.
That is because each party has the ability to veto any solution that is not acceptable to them, which means that any agreement that is reached is one that both parties have looked at and said, “OK, that works for me.”
Litigation pits the two parties against each other as adversaries.
This tends to engender bitterness that can last far into the future. On the other hand, having professional assistance to work together to find mutual solutions tends to help the parties reduce conflict and increase their sense of overall fairness.
Non-litigation solutions tend to be more durable over time.
This is because both parties have “buy in”. It also lays the groundwork for more cooperation down the road, which can be especially important when there are children involved.
If these reasons are important to you as well, you may wish to consider alternatives to the typical court-based divorce process.