Holding a ritual candle in the darkness - Seattle Divorce Services

How To Have A Good Divorce (Part 3)

Guest Blog by Sunny McMillan

The Importance of Ritual and Ceremony

Chances are you put a bit of thought and planning into your wedding. You and your spouse likely selected the location where it would take place, the people who would surround you, the clothes you would wear, and the vows you would recite.

For humans, ritual and ceremony are important. They provide touchstones during a lifetime and honor significant transitions.

Unlike the care and preparation given to a wedding, during divorce the parties understandably often simply want the proceedings behind them with little acknowledgment of this life-changing event.

In much the same way as a memorial service, however, a ceremony around your divorce can be a very healing endeavor. Depending on how contentious things are, you may be the only one doing this ceremony. It doesn’t have to be big. It simply needs to be meaningful.

That may mean selecting some photos or mementos from the marriage and burning them as an effigy in your backyard. Or going to your favorite river or body of water and performing a cleansing ritual to release the old and embrace the new. Or holding a divorce gathering, similar to a wedding reception, where friends and family can support one or both of you as you enter into the next chapter of your life.

Simply ask yourself what you need to feel whole and complete around the process. How can you best honor the past and embrace your future?

Whatever that looks like for you is perfect – like your wedding, it should reflect your unique desires and intentions, whatever those are.

Although the road through your divorce may include some twists and bumps, the above tips can assist you in making the journey a bit smoother.

Empower yourself with the constructive strategies and suggestions listed here or elsewhere that resonate for you, and you will be well equipped to create a good divorce.

Sunny Joy McMillan is a former attorney and current practicing master life coach who did her training and certification with Dr. Martha Beck. Find out more and download a free copy of her book, Unhitched, by visiting: www.unhitchedbook.com.