Six Tips for Settling Your Divorce

Note that I did not say "winning" your divorce. As a general rule, no one wins a divorce case; instead the court tries to be as fair to both as possible and both sides get something. While there are those people who look forward to taking the other spouse to court, most people just want to get the c...

Finding a Lawyer Who Is the Best Fit

When potential clients are in the process of finding a lawyer, they often ask if the lawyer they are considering in our office is "good". Sometimes they even want to know who in our office is "best". The problem is, "good" is the minimum standard (we would not hire an attorney we did not think was v...

Mediation Skills for Litigators

At Seattle Divorce Services, we believe in having all of our attorneys go through mediation training, even if they don't plan on being mediators. I really think mediation training helps any attorney be a better negotiator. We are hosting a mediation training at our office this weekend and next that...

Empathy in Divorce

An initial reaction is likely to be, "Why should I have any empathy for my divorcing spouse?" In fact, empathy is a skill that can help you better settle your divorce issues. Empathy is the ability to see things from the other person's point of view. When you can do that, you reach a better underst...

Seeing Things Differently

This week I went in for cataract surgery. The next day when the bandages came off, it was quite amazing how everything looked different than what I was used to. Things are more brightly colored, they look a little closer, I can see great at a distance, but I need reading glasses for close up. Basica...

Conflict in Divorce

Here's an interesting quote from a cover letter and resume we received recently: "Aggressive litigation is not necessarily the most efficient or emotionally appropriate forum for people going through the trauma of dissolution." Did you think you would ever hear that kind of statement from an attorne...

Positive Consequences

In legal matters we often impose negative consequences to change behavior. However, using positive consequences may in many cases work better. Basically, a negative consequence is a punishment, while a positive consequence is a reward....

How do I Pick a Divorce Attorney?

Choosing the right divorce attorney is not easy. Making it even harder is the fact that the attorney that is a good fit for one person is not necessarily a good fit for the next person. Every client has different needs and points of view. Every attorney has strengths and weaknesses, and their own pa...

Seattle Attorney Carol Bailey on Amicable Divorce

Carol Bailey is an attorney here in Seattle with a strong interest in more peaceful divorce processes. In an article in the Seattle PI blog last February, she talked about amicable divorce, making several very good points....

Theories of Fairness

I was recently discussing "fairness" with another divorce lawyer. He explained the concept that there are four different theories of fairness:  they are based respectively on Law, Equity, Needs, and Belief. Fairness based on Law is what we think of most often when we negotiate settlements in divorc...
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