Articles | Seattle Divorce Services

The Difference Between Assertiveness and Aggression

I just saw an interesting article by the English mediator Neil Denny in which at one point he discussed the difference between assertiveness and aggression. As he put it: Being assertive does not mean locking horns or getting into a fight with the client. That is aggression. Assertiveness simply mea...

Mediation Skills for Litigators

At Seattle Divorce Services, we believe in having all of our attorneys go through mediation training, even if they don't plan on being mediators. I really think mediation training helps any attorney be a better negotiator. We are hosting a mediation training at our office this weekend and next that...

A Sample Debt Calculation

In some ways dividing debt in a divorce is just like dividing property, but in other ways, it is more complicated. Generally, community property and debt are combined to reach a net community estate value, and then that total value is divided between the parties....

What is a Settlement Conference?

Here in King County, and increasingly in other counties as well, parties are required to go through some kind of dispute resolution process prior to trial to see if the case can in fact be settled. The most common type of pre-trial dispute resolution in litigated cases is the settlement conference....

Amicable Divorce

I often have people come in for a consultation about an amicable divorce. They and their spouse agree that they want to keep the divorce amicable, and often they hope to be able to work out their own settlement between themselves (the "kitchen table" approach) without professionals. What makes me wo...

What is Imputed Income?

In Washington State, income may be imputed to a parent for purposes of calculating child support if the parent is voluntarily unemployed or underemployed (i.e. does not have actual full time income)....

Do You Want Your Divorce to Stay Out of Court?

Many people heading into divorce dread the prospect of ending up in a court battle. They don't want the acrimony or the finger-pointing, they don't want the long drawn-out process, and they don't want to make an enemy of their spouse, even if they aren't close anymore. There are actually a number...

Curious Questioning

Curious questioning refers to asking questions that really are open ended - not supposing any particular answer but rather trying to gather information that we are genuinely curious about. Very often when we ask questions, there are certain answers we are really looking for. We may be trying to...

Can I File My Divorce in Washington?

I have had a number of questions lately about filing Washington divorces. The questions have generally been from people not currently residing in Washington, or newly arrived in Washington. Several have even been from people in same sex marriages who have moved to states that do recognize their marr...

Empathy in Divorce

An initial reaction is likely to be, "Why should I have any empathy for my divorcing spouse?" In fact, empathy is a skill that can help you better settle your divorce issues. Empathy is the ability to see things from the other person's point of view. When you can do that, you reach a better under...