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By “forgiveness”, I mean letting go of anger. When you carry anger toward another person, it generally hurts you more than it does them. If the person you are angry at is an ex, then your anger probably does not even mean that much to them. They are walking around, getting on with life, and all the poisonous thoughts you are sending their way are just bouncing off, maybe without them even being aware.

At the same time, you are sitting and stewing, or at the very least, carrying this rock around inside you. The poisonous thoughts that are bouncing off your ex are in fact poisoning you – affecting your mood, your happiness, getting in the way of you getting on with YOUR life.

Not only that, but if the person you are angry at, like your ex, is someone you have to deal with in any capacity, such as co-parenting, the anger is just going to get in the way of accomplishing anything productive. Anger displayed comes across as an attack. An attack causes people to become defensive rather than cooperative. People are more likely to be cooperative when they feel safe with the other person.

If you want to accomplish your goals, encourage others to work with you, and be as happy as you can be, you need to get rid of the anger that is getting in the way. If you don’t want to forgive for the sake of the other person, do it for yourself!